For me that was far more damaging

Debate online dating

And that can already be too late. It's easy to be defensive. They have become less social and do not try to approach someone in real life. In the old days we didn't really go on dates.

We lack the village hall the

To be honest, the first meeting isn't a date. But it's good to be put into a situation where you can't fall back on your usual defences. The sheer number of seemingly available others whispers that perfection in a partner is not only realistic, it's realisable. For me that was far more damaging.

Society has individualised badly and so many people live such hard-working lives that it is very hard to meet new people. Singletons who spend months emailing often have unrealistic expectations. Rather than making us open-minded, it makes us dismissive and pickier still. There's plenty of serendipity involved. Obviously it's doing something right, because most of my friends are on Tinder and I'm the odd one out.

Especially when Cupid so often teaches us that we had no idea what we wanted until we encountered him or her. Dating has changed exponentially.

This are risks that

The fact that someone has walked across the room and chosen you is a great help. But today the climate is much less censorious. You're right, of course, the internet plays a role in friendships and work relationships new and old. Our ideas about it seem not to have kept pace with changing realities, least of all in the lives of women. But that room is getting smaller.

Chemistry is a mercurial thing. Besides, as a writer, I'm a sucker for a good story. Like our New York cousins, we are embracing different ways to meet. Couple friends are too shattered to have dinner parties.

We lack the village hall, the barn dance. This are risks that you need to take.